Posted by ericsaints on March 11th, 2007 in News bulletin, Feature articles

“Football? ‘Yun lang? That’s all you have for P.E.? Anong klaseng eskuwela ‘yan?” You’ve probably gotten that dumbfounded reaction at least once from strangers to HEdCen. Some of us take perverse pride in it — “Yup, not a single basketball court, isn’t that fantastic?” And why shouldn’t we? (Be proud, I mean, not be perverse, about football being our thing.) After all, this is the world’s most popular sport. We flung ourselves headlong (or is it footlong?) into it after Coach Sugar Gutierrez (who also created the recipe of the famously delicious barbeque we stuff our faces with at the school’s special events) decided early on in the school’s history to dedicate the athletic program to this phenomenal game.

Coach Sugar’s philosophy is really quite simple: “We’re a small school. We make an impact in the one sport I believe in, we’ll grow bigger in the eyes of even the biggest schools.”

And you know what? In a span of a few short years, HEdCen has become a soccer Colossus in the National Capital Region (look it up guys, this reference to Colossus; that’s what the Wikipedia link is for), proof that our obsession with the game works. Consider our stats:

(Oops, I don’t have them yet. Note to Self: Get data from Coach Sugar, insert that here, then delete this Note to Self before posting article on site. Don’t forget. Delete Note before posting. Aauugh, I knew I’d forget. Stupid me.)

Almost as impressive as our sterling record of performance (see link below) is the reputation we’ve gotten along the way. “HEdCen? Ah, ’yan ‘yung football school sa Antipolo. Wala na ‘ata silang ibang ginagawa dun.” (If that were true, we’d have to switch our motto from “Better People … Better Earth” to “Football People … Football Earth” or change the school’s name to HEdCen Soccer Academy or some such.) We’ve become so fearsome to others that – and I am not making this up - our players have been called mutants and the school The HEDLESS Center. These are priceless insults of admiration reserved only for the best in the field, the crème de la crème, the pick of the litter, the top of the heap, the . . . you get the drift. The word is out. We excel in what the greatest footballer ever calls The Beautiful Game, and we’d like to keep it that way.

Let’s face it. We’ve been afflicted by futbol mundial fever that enthralls millions around the globe. That’s why HEdCen.com will regularly feature articles and recommended sites on the sport’s history, rules, top leagues, famous teams and players, strategies, practice tips, and anything else to fuel our mania. For the site’s launch, we couldn’t have picked a better subject than the King of Football himself, the Black Pearl, the Brazilian born Edson Arantes do Nascimento but universally known as Pelé. We’ve started you off with a couple of links listed below.

So there. Just remember that when you’re done surfing, you’ve got to put those shinguards and spikes on and get back on the pitch. We have two kinds, rock-strewn-and-potholed or dusty-hell-in-a-concrete-cage. Take your pick, it doesn’t matter which, ‘coz we’re a dangerous bunch of football freaks. All together now:

“LET’S GO, MUTANTS, LET’S GO!” (clap, clap),
“LET’S GO, MUTANTS, LET’S GO!” (clap, clap),
“LET’S GO, MUTANTS, LET’S GO!” (clap, clap).
“YAAAY HEDLESS CENTER!”

(P.S. You may have noticed the frequent use of parenthetical remarks. If you haven’t, please consult your ophthalmologist, since you may be suffering from Parenthetical Remarks Blind Spot Disorder which is so extremely rare as to be virtually non-existent, like David Beckham having a bad abs day. According to grammarians, parenthetical remarks or clauses give nonessential or nonrestrictive information. They are ordinarily enclosed in parentheses, although not necessarily so, as they may be set off from the sentence’s main idea by commas or dashes instead, but even then they’re still called parenthetical remarks. Go figure. In other words, parenthetical remarks are utterly useless und ultimately unimportant. The last part of the preceding sentence violates the fumblerule “Also, avoid annoying alliteration.” If you read this article again, this time ignoring the parenthetical remarks, including this really looong one, it will still make sense, probably even more so. Though maybe not as fun to read. Which is exactly my point. Somehow. Somewhere. Whatever. You know what I mean. HEdCen rockzzzz!!!)

Study guide and review questions:

1. Who is the Brazilian football great who coined the phrase The Beautiful Game to describe the sport?

2. A colossus is:

a) A statue that is several times larger than life size, e.g., the Colossus of Rhodes, one of the Seven Wonders of the World
b) An enormously large or powerful thing
c) Figuratively, a person or thing of enormous size, importance, or ability
d) All of the above.

3. Fumblerules are used by English teachers to teach the correct usage of English grammar to their students. A fumblerule describes an error of style or grammar, while simultaneously providing a humorous example of that error (see http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Fumblerules). How many fumblerules did the writer of the article above violate?

4. Under RIFA Regulations, can the writer be yellow- or red-carded for those violations?

5. Why should we bother answering these questions? Will we be graded on this? If so, for what subject, English or P.E. or InfoTech?

6. Why did the point of view shift to us readers so it now appears that we’re the ones asking the questions? Or is this one of those sleight-of-mind tricks the writer uses to make it appear like we’re posing these questions?

7. Why should we bother answering these questions? Will we be graded on this? If so, for what subject, English or P.E. or InfoTech? Is it possible to experience déjà vu online?

Online survey: According to the article, our players have been called “mutants” and the school “the HEdless Center” by other teams. Should we:

feel bad because other teams think of us as freaks of nature with funky feet and no heads?
feel great because they think of us as freaks of nature with funky feet and no heads, but in a good way, because we’re unbelievably superb at football, so that it’s actually a compliment?
officially adopt the team name “The HEdless Mutants”?
do all of the above and beat the living daylights out of the other teams, but in a good way?

Tell us what you think. Fill in the circle of your answer and click on the SUBMIT button.

(If you can’t fill in any of the circles or nothing happens when you click on the Submit button, please contact Tech Support. You can also try printing a hard copy of this page, so you can at least fill in a circle with a pen or pencil, but don’t bother clicking or tapping the Submit button printed on the hard copy. Trust us on this; we’ve tried and it still didn’t work.)

Related or reference links:

HEdCen Football Performance Report Link (coming soon)
Colossus
Pelé
The Beautiful Game
Pelé - Master of The Beautiful Game
Fumblerules
Coach Sugar’s Famous Barbecue: The Secret Recipe Unveiled At Last? (link under construction; might never be finished)